Those Who Pretend
by Kirii
Summary: [AxelRoxas] Just a story that popped into my head after 5 hours of straight gameplay. Citrusy because I do that a lot. I don't know if it makes sense, but I tried.
1. Chapter One

_**Author's Note:** I wrote this when KH2 first came out, so it's fairly old now. I'm just deciding to post it here with a bunch of my other fics so that more people get the chance to read it. This is also available at so if you've seen it there, you know who this is._

_**Warnings:** Yaoi. Sap. Sex. And spoilers for the game if you haven't played it or haven't gotten past Day Six. I'm starting off VERY early in the game._

_**Disclaimer:** Last time I tried to own ANY Kingdom Hearts characters, I was knocked out and woke up a week later in some inconspicuous hut in the middle of the Gobi desert. Don't ask me how I got back to the States. It's a long and ugly story._

"A-Axel…"

A moan escaped his lips. Lips that I longed to taste, longed to feel against my own. His breath was heavy and his small body was trembling beneath me. The sweat that covered him added a shine to his skin that made him absolutely gorgeous in my mind. He closed his eyes and let out another moan as I ran my fingers gingerly against his skin.

I loved him. Everything about him made my mind spin. From his brilliant blue eyes, to his full and soft lips, Roxas was beautiful and I loved every bit of him. He was special, and I knew that before anyone else in the order. Even before the Keyblade chose him, I knew he was special. As soon as I met him, I saw that extra something in him that made him more important than he'll ever know. I befriended him almost right away.

For the longest time, Roxas and I were inseparable partners within the Thirteenth Order. Before the Keyblade chose him, I told Roxas the truth about how I felt about him. To me, he was more than just someone I worked with, more than just a friend. He was someone I felt close to, close to the point that I would never be able to leave him. I told him that I loved him. It was a hard thing to say; I was so afraid that he would reject me.

But then he smiled at me and I knew that he felt the same.

"Gods…Axel…"

His voice. Just hearing it made a shiver run up my spine. I loved it when he said my name. Just another reminder of how close we really were. A long time ago, I thought that people like us couldn't love, that we had no emotions that could tie us to another being. Roxas proved that wrong. That first time we kissed broke any belief I had that I couldn't feel love for another person.

I needed a reminder of that kiss. So, I leaned down and captured Roxas' lips with my own, passion filling me as we kissed. He moaned into my mouth and I could feel the vibration from his throat reaching up into my own. Running my hand through his blond hair, I pressed my tongue against his lips, wanting to be let in, begging to be let in. His lips parted, granting my request as he slips his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

He loved me. That was the most important thing to me. Every time he told me, I smiled and told him that I love him just as much. Sometimes, we didn't need to tell each other how we felt. Sometimes, the words were said by our actions. Be it when we fought side by side and protected one another or when we shared a glance across a room.

Roxas broke the kiss, gasping for air. I watched him for a moment, just absorbing his beauty. He was mesmerizing. I wanted all of him. I leaned down and wrapped my tongue around him, relishing in the sharp gasp he let out as I did so. His hips jumped upwards and I barely managed to stop him from choking me. I played with him for a bit, loving every sound that escaped his lips. I brought him to the edge of ecstasy, and then released him.

"Axel," he moaned as I came up and kissed the flesh of his collarbone. "Why…why'd you stop?"

I smirked. "Because I'm still having fun."

I was always having fun when I was with him. Roxas made my life bearable. Even if I never did become a whole person, he would always make me feel like I was whole. He completed me like nothing else could. I liked to be with him.

I pushed my way inside Roxas then. We merged and sent each other into a spiral of ecstasy, holding each other close, crying each other's name until we could no longer hold back. Whiteness blinded me and I could no longer see the one I thought special. I cried his name again, yearning to find him in the blank white that was all I could see.

We broke the barrier and collapsed. Passion that had filled us remained sparked within, but quieted down significantly. We lay in the afterglow of our activity, breathless, sore and wet. Neither of us spoke for a long while. I felt Roxas curled up against me, our legs still intertwined under the blanket I had thrown on top of us. His hot breath against my neck felt so good. I put my arms around him and pulled him close.

After a while, he spoke up.

"Axel?"

"Mmm?" I replied, cradling his head under my chin.

"I…I've been thinking," Roxas said.

"You could think during that?" So help me, if Roxas could think during sex, I'd be very, very insulted.

Roxas shook his head. "Before."

I chuckled and kissed his forehead. "What were you thinking?"

He was quiet for a moment, hesitating. "I…I'm going to leave the Thirteenth Order."

I was shocked. I shook violently. "What?!"

Roxas broke away and sat up. He stared across my room at a blank spot on the wall. I shifted and sat up as well. He didn't look at me, just kept staring at the wall.

"Roxas…"

"I have to go," he said. "I need to find out why I have the Keyblade."

I shook my head. "You can't leave the Order!"

He turned. His blue eyes met my aqua ones. A small smile tweaked at his lips.

"Don't get me wrong, Axel," Roxas said. "It's not like I'm leaving for good."

I hung my head. "Yes, you are. One just doesn't up and leave the Thirteenth Order."

He gave a sigh. "I have to know, Axel. It's driving me crazy."  
I reached over and pulled Roxas close. I could smell the shampoo he had used this morning. It was sweet and kind of fruity. I loved that smell. Whenever I thought of Roxas, I would be able to smell that shampoo, even if he wasn't near me.

"Promise me something," I said.

"Anything," he replied.

"Wait a few days to make up your mind."

I didn't want him to go. Gods know what might happen to him if he left. I couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt. He looked at me, gave a small smile, and then pressed his lips against my forehead.

"Just a few," he said.

I knew I was hoping against hope that he'd decide against leaving the Order.

A couple days passed. Roxas and I saw each other a few times, but rarely were there words exchanged between us. I knew he had already made up his mind that night, but I still wanted him to stay with me. I grew angry with him, because I knew that he was going to leave and likely, not return. It hurt to think that he was leaving me behind.

One night, Roxas got into a fight with another member of the Order; the blindfolded kid. I could never remember his name. Not that I cared what his name was; he wasn't important. But when he got into the fight with Roxas, he said something that bothered my lover.

"Why?" he had demanded. "Why do you have the Keyblade?"

I had sensed what had gone through Roxas' mind. Though neither I nor the other kid could see Roxas' face, both of us could tell that it had disturbed him. After a moment, Roxas tightened grip his on his Keyblade and he attacked the other boy.

"Shut up!" he cried.

After the fight, Roxas lowered his hood and began to walk off. As he passed me, I spoke to him.

"So, you've made up your mind," I said.

"I have to know," he replied.

"You can't turn your back on the Order!"

He paused. "No one would miss me," he said softly. With that, he walked off.

"That's not true," I said, staring after him. "I would."

He was too far away and my voice was too quiet for him to hear. I watched him as he disappeared into the darkness that surrounded the city. Roxas, the one I thought I loved, was gone and wasn't going to come back for me.

Someone once told me that Nobodies like Roxas and I couldn't feel. That we didn't have hearts; only pretended to have them. I used to believe that. But when Roxas and I got together, all the belief I had in that shattered. Now…I think I believe it again. Everything was just pretense.

_**Author's Note: **Good gods, when I wrote this, I said it sounded like the sex scene came straight out of a bad romance novel. XD I still think so! Anyways, before anyone harps at me for calling it the Thirteenth Order and not Organization Thirteen, go find Deep Dive Final Mix and watch closely. It's originally the Thirteenth Order and I prefer to go by the original._


	2. Chapter Two

_**Author's Note:** I'll be deviating from the original storyline here, so things will be completely different from the game. In fact, this will probably bump Sora's awakening by six months at the very least. –evil grin- Sorry, Sora. But think of it like this, we get more boy on boy action this way._

_**Warnings:** More yaoi (though, I think this should be a guarantee, actually). A couple spoilers, now that I've actually seen the end of the game. Flashbacks and such are written in italics to make them distinguishable. _

_**Disclaimer: **I wish I owned them. Really, I do. I wish Olette were real, because if she was, I'd be all over her. And Demyx, too. Oh, baby, if I had the rights to him! Mrowr._

Chapter Two

Roxas.

I hated him so much for leaving me behind the way he did. But even so, I still miss him terribly. Things just aren't the same without him around. The days are long and dull and the nights even more so. And the Order. They were talking about his disappearance constantly for about a week before his name disappeared from all conversation. No one mentioned him and likely didn't even pause to think of what happened to him. For all I knew, one of our own had gone out to eliminate him, to keep him from spilling the Order's secrets.

I didn't like the thought of Roxas being dead. I was still mad about the night he left, but he was still special to me. Even if I couldn't love now, I remember what it was like. I still remember how it felt to have someone who was close to me leave me behind. Before I was a Nobody, it hurt. And I still remember the pain. It's like having a wound that isn't there. There's nothing to prove that you're injured, but you still feel the pain.

Roxas. How could you hurt me like that?

Weeks passed. The weeks turned into months. I pushed away every memory of Roxas I had. It hurt to think about him and what he might be doing now. It hurt even more to think that he might be gone forever. I blocked out every thought of him after seven months. No longer did I think of him.

Until I found out that he was alive. He had been seen in Twilight Town. Apparently, he could not recall anything about the Order, as if his memories had been wiped clean by someone much stronger. If I had a heart, I'm sure it would have broken then, if it hadn't already. The realization that he likely didn't even remember me as he was now was devastating.

I wanted to see him.

I couldn't bring myself to actually going to Twilight Town and facing him just yet. I was still upset about that night when he left. So, instead, I sent one of the Dusks to bring something back. I sent it to bring me whatever it could. The first time, it brought me a single photograph of him. It wasn't the best picture; it was horribly grainy, as if taken by a very old camera and the angle it was taken from looked as though it had been taken by an amateur. But it was proof that Roxas was alive.

I wanted to see him even more.

But I still couldn't face him. Not yet. So, I sent the Dusk back for more photos. This time, however, it failed me. It never came back, so I assumed it had been found and destroyed. I took that one photo that I had of him and stared at it. I could just make out Roxas' face, but he was there. He was smiling, but it wasn't the same smile he used to give me when he was still here with me. I missed that smile.

_Roxas' lips tweaked at the corners in a smile. His blue eyes shone with an emotion that I knew was probably just a memory of an emotion. We do not feel, really. We just remember from who we once were what it was like to have emotions. It was real enough for us, though._

_"Let's go, Axel," he said. "I'll buy you dessert."_

_I smirked in reply and put my arms around his waist. "I have my dessert right here."_

_He laughed. That crystal clear laugh of his always made me smile._

I missed him so much.

I decided that I would go see him. Regardless of whether or not I was ready to forgive him for leaving, I wanted to see him. I would go the next day, I told myself. I would go to Twilight Town and find Roxas.

But of course, something came up and I had to put off my plans. Damn it. Always when I want to do something.

The next day, I waited for the opportune moment to go see Roxas. There was a tournament going on in Twilight Town; the Struggle Tournament. Sounds boring to me, but I went anyways because I knew that Roxas would be taking part of it. It was an opportunity to see him fight. I had a Dusk disguise itself as Vivi, this short little guy who was supposed to fight Roxas in the finals, and fight in his place. When it did, I would freeze the program and make my entrance.

It didn't take long for Roxas to defeat the Dusks with that little Keyblade of his. No surprises there. I knew Roxas was strong; after all, he was _his_ nobody. I couldn't help but applaud for him.

"Roxas," I smirked, approaching him. "All right. Fight, fight, fight."

He turned to me and locked his brilliant blue eyes on mine. I could see the confusion in his eyes as I approached him.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"You really don't remember?" I gave him my own question. "It's me, Axel."

"Axel?"

It hurt to see that he truly did not remember me.

"You're coming with me, conscious or not."

And there, in his eyes, I recognized the same frustration he had shown when that blindfolded kid had demanded to know why he had the Keyblade. I watched as Roxas threw the Keyblade down at my feet.

"What's going on?!" he exclaimed.

He's so cute when he's angry.

When the Keyblade reappeared in his hand, he grasped it and took a defensive position. I chuckled to myself. He didn't remember me at all. And now he was going to fight me. I knew I loved him. I summoned my Chakrams and twirled them around for moment, bringing forth a few flames, if only for show.

I have never been on the receiving end of a fight with Roxas before. Let me tell you, he's pretty good with that Keyblade. That thing hurts like a bitch, too. Hard and heavy metal, right? Like I said, I've never fought Roxas before, so I didn't know that he'd beat me. I was impressed. I wanted him to come back to the Order with me, so we could be together again.

"Roxas, come back with me," I told him.

He looked at me, then at the people frozen on the sidelines. I noticed he looked at three people in particular; two young men, one tall and gangly with blonde hair and one short with black hair, and a young woman with impossibly green eyes and brown hair. Roxas' gaze returned to me and he took a small step backwards.

"I…" he began.

Another person appeared in the arena. He was dressed in red, with a bandage covering his entire face, save for one eye and his mouth. I groaned and rolled my eyes. Not him. Of all the people that could have shown up and kept me from getting Roxas to come home with me, it had to be the creator of this town.

"Roxas," the other man said. "This man speaks nonsense! Do not trust him!"

_Oh, no, you don't!_ I thought. _You're not taking him away from me again!_

"Roxas!" I shouted. "Come on! We'll go home!"

"Roxas!" the red-clad man countered.

I watched as Roxas' confusion grew and he put his hands over his ears to block out our voices. He squeezed his eyes closed. I inwardly pleaded to any deity that he would decide to come with me and leave this world behind. He didn't belong here; he belonged in The World that Never Was, with me.

"Hayner!" he shouted after a few moments. "Pence! Olette!"

A bright light grew and I closed my eyes as I was shoved out of Twilight Town. When I opened my eyes again, I was back in the small apartment I called home. Roxas was gone. I had failed to bring him home. Clenching my fists, I threw a punch at my bedroom door, denting the wood as I did so. Damn it. Can't I catch a break just once and be with him again?

_The last of the Heartless were gone from the street. I put my Chakrams away and pinned my blonde lover against the wall of one of the buildings in town, knocking back his hood as I did. A whimper escaped Roxas' lips as I nipped gently at his neck. He dropped his weapons and put his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. Our hips touched, causing us both to moan._

_"A…xel…" Roxas murmured._

_I ran my hand through his hair and pulled his head close so that I could kiss him. His lips came in contact with mine. I pressed my tongue between his lips and tasted the inside of his mouth. The taste that was distinctly my Roxas drove me insane; I wanted more of him. He tasted bittersweet, a flavour spun from the hardships that his Other had gone through before becoming a Heartless, from the friendships that Roxas could barely recall from his Other's memories, and from the phantom feelings that he and I had for each other._

_I broke away from him momentarily, to allow him to breathe. His eyes, the colour of the ocean on a clear day, were half-lidded and his breath was heavy. It made him all the more tempting. I brushed his bangs to the side and kissed his forehead. I felt him reach up and pull my hood from my head. He pulled me close and lifted his head enough to kiss me._

_"Don't ever leave me behind again," I told him before our lips touched._

_Roxas kissed me fervently for a moment, then broke away. "I won't."_

My eyes snapped open. It had been a dream. Damn, but it had been so real. It was like he was back with me, back in my arms. I heaved a sigh and ran a hand through my hair. I would have to push Roxas to his limits to get him back. Even if I had to knock him unconscious, I would have him back. The rest of the Order could have Kingdom Hearts. They could get their hearts that way; I don't care. The only thing I want is Roxas. He makes me feel like I have a heart. If I have him, I don't need anything else.

I looked out the window. It was raining again. It was raining the day I met Roxas, too. Funny how things like that happen, right? Guy meets guy. Guys get rained on. Guy asks guy to stay with him until the storm ends. Guy winds up falling for guy, even though he doesn't have a heart. It's so cliché, isn't it?

Cliché. Right.

Roxas.

I will have you back.

_**Author's Note:** This could have been written a bit better, but I'd rather not go back and rewrite the entire chapter. It's just easier to keep the original, rather than editing it up. Besides, it's been like this for six months, I'm not about to change it.  
_


	3. Chapter Three

_**Author's Note:** Well, this one took me a long time to write between writer's block and looking for a job. My readers at waited two and a half months for this chapter. -nervous laugh- Yeah. You lucky people get all three chapters at once. Aren't you special?_

_**Warnings:** Lemon. And really, that's a promise, not a warning, but I put it in there because, well, you know. Anyways. Yeah. Lemon. Oh, and the beginning of this chapter starts off after the whole "I froze time thing" outside of the Usual Spot on the sixth day. Just so you know._

_**Disclaimer:** Need I remind you about the island of cannibalistic lesbians where I reign supreme as the vegetarian queen? Well, apparently, I needed a reminder, because Nomura shipped me back._

Chapter Three

Damn it.

Whoever brought Roxas here has really pissed me off for the last time. The Roxas I knew is long gone and the only one to blame is the one who did this to him. Then again, am I also at fault? If I hadn't let Roxas leave, if I could have somehow convinced him to stay, would he be like this? No, he would have been safe with me, in my arms.

I've made up my mind. No matter what, I had to bring Roxas home, to the World that Never Was. The man who created this town would not be able to stop me this time. The mansion. That's where I'd make my move and bring Roxas back with me.

I beat Roxas to the mansion and hid in one of the rooms under the main floor. I knew he'd find his way down here, and then he'd run into a handful of Dusks and a couple of my Assassins. Once those wore him down, even in the slightest, I would step in and defeat him. Take him home. Such a simple plan, right? It was perfect.

I knew this was my last chance. If I couldn't bring Roxas back with me, _he_ would awaken and I'd never see Roxas again. I couldn't let that happen. I don't know what I'd do if I were to lose every chance I had to have Roxas in my arms again.

Roxas entered the room and I summoned the nobodies to attack him. He had no trouble fighting off the Dusks, but my Assassins were stronger and much more difficult to defeat. Their ability to melt into the floor made it harder for Roxas to fight them. As long as they weakened him for the fight against me; that's all I needed them to do. It didn't matter if he actually defeated them, the fight with them would wear him down.

When the last of my Assassins were destroyed, I entered the room. Time to make my move. I had to either convince him to come home with me or take him back by force. There was no way I was going to let Roxas walk away this time. I was still upset from back in the alley; he had remembered that we were friends, which was close enough for me. But the fact that he couldn't remember anything else upset me. I was going to use this against him. The only way I knew I'd be able to fight Roxas and win without having regrets would be to act as though I was angry with him.

"Simply amazing, Roxas," I said, commenting on his fighting.

"Axel…"

I loved it when he said my name; even if he didn't remember about us. But I had to push away my feelings for him and fight. "You really do remember me this time. I'm so _flattered_!"

I shouted the last word angrily, summoning a circle of fire to surround us. Roxas jumped and summoned the Keyblade—wait, there were two of them. That surprised me, that he would remember how to bring both of them out. I brought my Chakrams out from the darkness where I usually kept them when I wasn't using them.

I was using every trick I had up my sleeves to win against Roxas. I created a magma cover for the floor of the room. It would help weaken Roxas to my advantage. I would need all my strength to fight him; I could not afford to lose. I attacked him relentlessly with my Chakrams and flames. Every time he hit me with those Keyblades, I hit him with my weapons and let my fires lick at him.

Minutes passed as we fought. Somehow or other, he managed a couple times to break my concentration on the floor and the magma that covered it disappeared for a while until I recreated it. It was a hard battle and it wore me out. Not to mention, I had to repress all feelings I had for him every time I attacked. Real or not, these feelings could have easily killed my chances of winning this fight.

I could see that Roxas was beginning to tire. He was moving slower and his reactions were starting to falter. He managed once more to break my concentration on the floor and the magma that covered it disappeared. It was then that he collapsed, dropping one of the Keyblades and using the other to support himself. He was out of breath and out of energy. I smirked to myself; I had won. Roxas lifted his head and looked at me.

"We…were friends…" he began, panting as he fought to catch his breath.

With that, Roxas slumped over, unconscious. I released my Chakrams, storing them in the darkness, and walked cautiously over to Roxas. I picked him up, looking into his face. I smiled, kissed his forehead, and opened a portal back to the World that Never Was.

I thought about taking Roxas straight to the Castle, but decided that it would be better to take him back to my apartment in the Dark City. I've already betrayed the Order and was sure the remaining members wouldn't be too happy to see me. So, yeah; apartment it was.

Demyx once asked why I had an apartment outside the Castle. I had told him, simply, that there were times that I preferred the seclusion of an apartment to being in the same Castle as the rest of the Order. Plus, in my apartment, Roxas and I could be as loud as we wanted. That was always a good thing, right? In the Castle, we'd have people knocking at the door, telling us to quiet it down. No problem with that at my apartment; no neighbors, you know.

I took Roxas to my bedroom and laid him down on the bed. My bet is that he'd be out for a while. So, why not whip up something to eat for when he wakes up? I'm a decent cook, if I do say so myself. Granted, I boil water like the best of them and ramen is my specialty. That and I love to make chocolate sauce; for purposes no fangirl _shouldn't_ know. But now I'm off-topic.

I kicked my boots off and threw them into a corner. I sauntered into the kitchen; I grabbed a pot, filled it with water, put it on the stove and lit the burner. For the hell of it, I grabbed a cigarette and lit it with a flame from my finger. I don't smoke often, but this was a time when I felt like I needed a cigarette. I take a drag as I wait for the water to boil and start going through my cabinets for a package of ramen. Look at me; Axel the four-star chef.

My ass.

Anyways. Five to seven minutes later, the ramen was done and I headed back into my room with a couple bowls. To my amazement, Roxas was already awake and looking around. He was obviously confused, so I stepped towards him. He turned to me.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"My room," I told him. "This is my apartment in the Dark City. Don't you remember?"

He blinked. "No…"

"Do you remember anything about the World that Never Was? About the people here?" Silently, I added, "About us?"

Roxas looked down at his hands for a moment, thinking. When he looked back up, he gave a weak smile. "A little."

I set the bowls of ramen down on the bedside table and sat on the bed next to him. I pulled him towards me. He stiffened slightly. I don't really blame him; I did attack him, after all. I looked into his blue eyes and brushed those too-long blond bangs of his.

"Do you remember this?" I asked.

Gently, I kissed him, pressing my lips to his. A small noise escaped him. I brushed my gloved fingers against his cheek softly, working my tongue through his lips. He shivered and closed his eyes, melting into the kiss. I wrapped my arm around Roxas' waist, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. We stayed like that for a few moments, seemingly content. When we broke apart for air, I noticed a light blush over Roxas' cheeks.

"I…" he said. "I don't think I ever really forgot that…"

I smiled. "I've missed you, Roxas."

Roxas snuggled closer to me. "Axel…we weren't best friends, were we?"

"No," I told him. "Best friends with benefits or, should you venture at us actually having hearts and feelings, _lovers_ would be the correct term."

"We don't have hearts?" Roxas asked. "We don't have feelings?"

I lay down on the bed, pulling Roxas down next to me, and gave a sigh. "We're Nobodies, Roxas. We are born when our Others lose their hearts and become one of the Heartless. Like what happened with me and Ael. Then, there's you and Sora."

"Sora…" Roxas mumbled. "That's why I kept dreaming about him? Because he was my Other?"

"Exactly."

Roxas went quiet for a moment, just lying in my arms. After a couple moments, he closed his eyes.

"I hate him."

I looked at him. "Why?"

"He's the reason I'm like this, isn't he?"

I chuckled and kissed his forehead. "Roxas, if Sora hadn't become a Heartless, you wouldn't have ever existed. You wouldn't have met me and I wouldn't have met you. Got it memorized?"

He opened his eyes and looked up at me. A ghost of a smile spread over his lips. "I suppose." He nuzzled against my neck. "Axel, thanks for coming for me."

I had missed the feel of Roxas against me. I pulled him as close as I possibly could, pressing him to my body so that the only thing between us were our clothes. Which, as you all know, can be remedied in about thirty seconds. Roxas blushed slightly.

"Axel?"

"I've missed you so much," I told him. "Don't leave me again."

Roxas smiled, tilted his head back enough to kiss me. "I won't."

Being this close to Roxas was making my hormones go wild. I tried to keep them under some control, but damn it, I hadn't been with him in months and now that I had him in my arms, I didn't want to just hold him. I wanted to take him, make him mine again. Flashes of the last time we had been together like this flew through my mind, making my urges stronger, to the point where I could no longer resist.

Shifting to lay on top of Roxas, I captured his lips with my own. There was no resistance from him; he just wrapped his arms around my waist and eagerly returned the kiss. To think that just this morning, he thought of us as only "best friends" and now he knew we were lovers. It made me smile. If I had a heart, it would be swelling with joy right now. I had my Roxas back where he belonged. To me, there was nothing better than that. I didn't need Kingdom Hearts to return my heart to me; Roxas _was_ my heart.

I pulled at the zipper on Roxas' shirt as I deepened the kiss and gently ran my hand down the soft flesh of his chest. I could feel him shiver beneath my fingers, a reaction that only urged me to continue. Pulling him up to slip his small jacket and shirt off him, I let my hands wander over every inch of Roxas' skin that I could access. I remember every sensitive spot from the times we had been together before he had left and I ran my fingers over them now, wringing a moan from my lover.

"A-Axel," Roxas broke away to say.

"Remember this?" I asked, kissing at his neck, sucking gently before moving lower to nip at his collarbone.

Another moan escaped him as a response. I reached up and gently pulled his head back to get better access to his neck. He pulled us back down onto the mattress, which made it a lot easier to do what I wanted with him. I kissed a trail down Roxas' chest, leading down to his stomach. Fingering the waistband of his pants, I popped the button undone, and then slowly pulled the zipper down, giving Roxas every opportunity to tell me to stop, if he wanted to.

Instead, he encouraged me. He kicked his shoes off and lifted his hips to help me remove his pants. I took a handful of his boxers and pulled those off as well, so that the only things Roxas was wearing were his wrist band and those little bands around his fingers. Then, I sat up and pulled off my coat. I never wore a shirt under it, so now the only thing I wore were the leather pants I wore under my coat. Roxas reached up and began playing with the button on my pants. I let him, enjoying the feel of his hands so close to my most sensitive body part.

"Roxas…" I warned. I was going to ravish him like I had never ravished him before.

"Let me have my fun," Roxas said, giving a small pout.

I smiled, grabbed him by the shoulders and rolled over, so that we switched places. I could wait a little while longer before having my way with him. I pulled him down for a quick kiss and told him to have as much fun as he wanted. He blushed cutely and pulled at the zipper on my pants. I raised my hips to help him pull them off. He didn't blush at the fact that I didn't wear underwear; you wouldn't either with leather pants that tight.

"I…" he mumbled. "I'm not quite sure what to do…I've never…I don't think I've…been on top before."

I smirked and put my hand on his cheek. "Just do whatever."

He hesitated, obviously still confused as to what to do. After a moment, he ran his hand down my chest, over my stomach and even further down, brushing lightly against me. I let out a soft moan, wrapped my arms around him and raised my hips into his touch. I had missed this so much. I had missed _him._

Roxas was apparently encouraged by my reactions, as he began to do more. He wrapped his fingers around my member and gently squeezed. My vision blanked out for a moment and the only thing I could think about was how good this felt. I arched my back, pressing up against him. I could hear his sharp intake of breath as my body's actions threw him slightly off-balance. He released me and held onto my hips to try to keep from falling over. The two of us were flipped as he fell over anyways, despite his efforts.

My hips brushed against his as I fell on top of Roxas, causing both of us to moan. Roxas' face turned a brilliant shade of red; he closed his eyes and rocked up against me. I shifted, spreading his legs and placing my head between them, so that I had easy access to him. I leaned down and let the tip of my tongue flick gently against his growing erection, relishing in the sounds that escaped his lips as I did so. Those sounds had been played over and over in my mind during the time that Roxas had been gone and hearing them now filled me with the ghost of happiness.

Going further, I wrapped my lips around Roxas' member, sucking softly while circling my tongue around the tip. I could hear my blond lover choke and let out a pleasured gasp. I saw out of the corner of my eye as his fingers twisted into the black sheets of my bed, gripping tightly as his hips lurched upwards. I had to take one hand and force them to stay down so that I didn't wind up choking on him. I continued to play with him, drawing random designs on his manhood with the tip of my tongue, pulling pleasured noises from him. I sucked a little hard every so often, bringing him closer and closer to his climax.

I heard Roxas scream my name, and his essence burst into my mouth, filling it quickly. I swallowed it all, savoring his bittersweet taste and using my tongue to wipe every last bit of it from him. With the taste of him still lingering in the corner of my mouth, I moved upwards and kissed him long and hard. I slid my tongue over every inch of his mouth, enjoying the two blended tastes of him immensely. Roxas returned the kiss, his tongue battling mine as he wrapped his arms around me.

Amidst the kiss we shared, I reached for the drawer of my nightstand and pulled out the small tube of lubricant I always stored in there. Keeping Roxas distracted, I opened the tube and covered my fingers in the oil and set it aside for the moment. I broke the kiss to let the both of us breathe, then began to place kisses over Roxas' neck and chest, nipping on occasion. I slipped my fingers between his legs and searched with them for his entrance. Though we had had sex several times before he left, his body was no longer used to having me inside. Therefore, I had to prepare him. I found his entrance and gently pressed one finger inside him.

Roxas let out a small yelp of pain and his muscles contracted around my finger. His breathing came in sharp gasps. Shifting upwards, I whispered comforting words in his ear and kissed away the tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes. I slid my free hand into his, entwining our fingers, and told him to relax. He whimpered, swallowed hard and tried to relax as I slipped a second finger into him. I kissed at the sensitive skin just below his ear as another gasp of pain escaped him.

"Relax," I whispered, nibbling at his earlobe.

Roxas nodded slightly in response. He knew that I wasn't purposely hurting him. He squeezed my hand and wrapped his other arm around me, clinging to me as best he could. I kissed him gently and began to move my fingers around inside him. Roxas winced and bit his lip as I did so. He quickly adjusted, his body remembering at last and I pulled my fingers from his body. I grabbed the tube of lubricant and poured some of the oil onto my own growing erection to make it easier for the both of us when I invaded his body.

Once sure that both of us were ready, I returned my hand to Roxas' and clasp it as I aimed and thrust inside him. He let out a piercing cry and his grip on me tightened as he bucked his hips against mine. I pulled out just slightly, waiting momentarily before shoving my way back inside and repeating my actions. Together, he and I set a rhythm which we followed until both of us were blinded by the pleasure that ran through our bodies. The blinding white fire that filled us raged on, our happiness at being together again and our desperateness to stay together fueling it as we continued.

Roxas screamed my name as the strong wave of his second orgasm ran through his body, his fingernails scrapping down my back in a jagged line, likely drawing blood. The muscle contraptions of his body triggered my own orgasm and I came inside him, moaning loudly. In those short moments, my vision blanked out entirely and the only thing I could hear was Roxas' voice calling my name again.

Once I could see again, I pulled out of him one last time and stayed there above him momentarily, just drinking in the sight of him, covered in a sheet of sweat and cum, panting heavily as a result of our strenuous activity. He was the most beautiful I had ever seen him. I leaned down and kissed him once more, brushing my fingers against the blond bangs that were stuck to his forehead. He kissed back gently, putting his arms around my waist and pulling me closer.

"Roxas," I said, pulling away and lying down on the bed. "Nothing lasts forever."

He looked at me and I could see just a hint of fear in his brilliant blue eyes. I pulled him against me and buried my face in the crook of his neck. He clung to me, waiting for me to say something more.

"Axel?" he urged.

"Stay with me, Roxas," I told him. "Be my 'nothing.'"

He let out a sigh of relief and snuggled closer to me. "Forever."

_**Author's Note:** Okay, you all had better have enjoyed that. It took me months to write it, mostly because I had to keep going back and editing it so that it wasn't too graphic. . .it wasn't too graphic, was it? Looking back at the first chapter, I thought this was a bit descriptive. Please tell me that I haven't scared you all away! _


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